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Animals Jokes


Scientifically speaking, the term Animals includes everything from single-celled organisms all the way down to people. For legal reasons there are some specific exclusions, including Oprah, Hamsters and God.

According to ancient legend, all animals came from space and are Atheists (they believe he is non existent). Thereafter, people kept them in rounded metallic spheres and summoned them forth to use special powers in order to battle with each other. When they wanted the animals to come out of their spheres, they would say “[Aadvark, Llama, etc], I choose you!” and throw the sphere to the ground. Eventually, after fighting alot these animals would evolve, which became the basis for Darwin’s theory of evolution.

A man was out driving in his car when all of a sudden a rooster ran out in front of his car, he tried to miss it but unfortunately he ran over the rooster & killed it.

He decided that he should go & tell the farmer, so he got out of his car & walked across the road to the farm, walked up to the front door & knocked, the farmer came to the door & the man said “I’m afraid I’ve killed your rooster, please let me replace him”.

The farmer said “Help yourself, the hens are out in the back”.

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Whats a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss !

Whats a gay dinosaur? A lickdicknopuss !

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A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn’t see anyone.

He glances down, sees a snail there and being the conscientious gardener he is, tosses the snail across the road, into a field, away from his property.

Ten years go by, and one day the man hears a knock at the door, but once again, doesn’t find anyone there when he answers.

He looks down, sees a snail there.

The snail looks up at him, and in a tiny voice demands, – “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?”

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What do you call a mother cow that lost her calf?

“Decafinated”

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Why can’t dogs use computers?

Because you can’t stick your head out of Windows XP

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