A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
| Better to be safe than__ |
- punch a 5th grader |
| Strike while the__ |
- bug is close |
| It’s always darkest before__ |
- Daylight Savings Time |
| Never underestimate the power of__ |
- termites |
| You can lead a horse to water but__ |
- how? |
| Don’t bite the hand that__ |
- looks dirty |
| No news is__ |
- impossible |
| A miss is as good as a__ |
- Mr. |
| You can’t teach an old dog new__ |
- math |
| If you lie down with dogs, you’ll__ |
- stink in the morning |
| Love all, trust__ |
- me |
| The pen is mightier than the__ |
- pigs |
| An idle mind is__ |
- the best way to relax |
| Where there’s smoke there’s__ |
- pollution |
| Happy the bride who__ |
- gets all the presents |
| A penny saved is__ |
- not much |
| Two’s company, three’s__ |
- the Musketeers |
| Don’t put off until tomorrow what__ |
- you put on to go to bed |
| Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and__ |
- you have to blow your nose |
| Children should be seen and not__ |
- spanked or grounded |
| If at first you don’t succeed__ |
- get new batteries |
| You get out of something what you__ |
- see pictured on the box |
| When the blind leadeth the blind__ |
- get out of the way |
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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Little Bruno was sitting in his grandmother’s kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
“What are you doing?” Bruno asked.
“Oh, I’m just stuffing the turkey,” his grandmother replied.
“That’s cool!” Bruno said. “Are you going to hang it next to the deer?”
A young female elementary education teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny, Pat?”
“I just saw one of your garters!”
“Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see you for three days!”
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, “What’s so funny, Billy?”
“I just saw both of your garters!”
Again, she yells, “Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don’t want to see you for three weeks!”
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she asks.
“From what I just saw, my school days are over!”
