A guy was walking along the beach admiring the beautiful sunset when he noticed a young lady laying in the sand, she had no arms and no legs and was crying.

He goes over and asked what was wrong. She said, “I am 21 years old, I have no legs and no arms and I have never been kissed”.

So, he bends down and kisses her and she stops crying. He gets up to walk away and she starts to cry again.

Again, he asks her what is wrong.

She says, “I am 21 years old, I have no arms and no legs and I have never been screwed.”

So, he goes over to her, picks her up and throws her in the water, and says – “there, now you’re screwed”!

A little girl and her mother are walking through a park and see two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl asks her mother what they’re are doing. After a moments hesitation, the mother replies “They’re making cakes.”

The next day the little girl and her mother go to the zoo. The little girl sees two monkeys having sex, and again asks her mother what they are doing. The mother again uses the same answer “They’re making cakes.”

The next morning the little girl says to her mother “Mummy, You and Daddy were making cakes on the lounge last night.”
The Mother replies ” How do you know?”
The girl says “I licked the icing off the sofa!”

THE Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:

10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave it to you.
6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning. …

and the number one reason trick-or-treating is better than sex ….

1. IF YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!

What’s the difference between an epileptic oyster fisherman, and a hooker with diahrrea? Well, one shucks between fits.

What’s the difference between a nun and a fat lady? One’s tryin to diet, and the other’s dyin to try it…

Why can’t a ghost have sex??

Because he has a hollow weenie!