There are four guys in the park who get arrested for blowing bubbles.

In the court room one guy comes in, the judge says, “who are you and what are you charged with”??
“I’m duck and i got charged for blowing bubbles in the park”.

2nd one comes in, ” who are you and what are you charged with”?
“I’m duck duck and i was charged for blowing bubbles in the park”.

3rd one comes in.” Who are you and what were you charged with”?
“I’m duck duck duck and i was charged for blowing bubbles in the park”.

4th one comes in judge says “let me guess, your duck duck duck duck, and charged for blowing bubbles in the park?”

“NO, he says…I’m bubbles!!”.

It’s Colonel Smith’s first day at a new base in Saudi Arabia, and the company clerk is showing him around the camp. They tour the entire base and the clerk shows him around and points out every building of interest. At the end of the tour, the Colonel says, “What about that little stable over there? What’s that for?”

“Well,” says the clerk, and looks at the ground in embarassment, “you may have noticed there aren’t any women on the base. You see, we keep a camel in that there stable, so that when the men get their urges they can –”

The Colonel holds up his hand, shakes his head and cuts off the clerk midsentence. “PLEASE! Say no more. I get the point.”

Well, as you can imagine, after a few weeks on the base the Colonel too felt the need for a woman, and so he found himself at the clerk’s desk one Saturday afternoon. “Tell me,” the Colonel said in a whisper, looking over his shoulder to be sure no one else could hear, “is the camel free this afternoon?”

The clerk checks his appointment book and nods in the affirmative. “How about I schedule you in for 2:00?”

The Colonel nods and walks away. At 2:00 he makes his way to the stable, walks in, and gently closes the door behind him. He finds a small stepping stool nearby, moves it behind the camel, and climbs onto it. Then he lowers his trousers, and begins, well, making love to the camel.

Just as he’s nearing his peak, the door opens suddenly and the Colonel spins around in shock and embarrassment to see the clerk standing there with a big grin on his face. As the Colonel begins to yell for him to leave, the clerk interrupts him with a quizzical look on his face.

“Begging your pardon, sir, but wouldn’t it have been simpler for you to just ride the camel into town to find a woman, like the other men do?”

A farmer goes to the patent office to patent a peach, and the patent officer says- “you can’t patent a peach, the peach has already been patented!”

And the farmer says, “Oh no. Not THIS kind of peach. Go ahead, try it!” So the patent officer takes a bite, and then- “oh, wow! This is so good! It tastes like- blackberry pie!”

And the farmer says “Yeah, and Do you like vanilla ice cream?
Well then you gotta flip it over & try the other side”.
So the patent officer does and he’s like-
“Man! that really does taste like vanilla ice cream!
I can’t believe it!”

So then the farmer looks around a bit and lowers his voice almost to a whisper, and says: “Psst! Have you ever tasted pussy?” “Oh yeah, I’ve eaten plenty of pussy!” “And you like it, right?” “Yeah I LOVE the taste of pussy” says the patent officer, starting to get excited.

The farmer says, “OK, then take a bite, right there” So the patent officer takes this HUGE bite, and then his eyes widen & he spits it out all over the place.
“Oh, Yuck! That tasted like SHIT!” & the farmer says “shoot,…
I’m sorry- flip it over & try the other side!”

A man has been married to his wife for over 20 years and during the past 5 years he has been unable to obtain an erection. He feels just horrible because he is unable to have sex with his wife. He fears his wife may leave him for another man.

Out of desperation the man has gone to every doctor and expert in the area. Despite numerous tests and suggested remedies, no reason for his impotence can be found and no cure has worked.

The man decides to share his problem with his best friend. His best friend gets all excited and says, “I know who can help you! There is mystic and he was able to help someone else I know with the same problem! You must go see him!”

So the man takes his friend’s advice and goes to visit this curious mystic. The man explains his problem, the mystic looks him over and says, “Ah, yes, indeed I can offer a temporary cure.”

The man is just elated, he tells the mystic, “Whatever it is, please do it! I want to be able to have sex with my wife, please!”

So the mystic nods his head, does a strange dance around the man while murmuring odd sounds, claps his hands and says, “All done. Now, sir, you will be able to bring on an erection immediately upon counting to three: one, two, three. Do not count to three until you want your erection. Your erection will continue to last until the count of four is heard: one, two, three, four. After that, you will not be able to obtain an erection again no matter what.”

The man is just so excited, he leaves the mystic and heads home. All he can think about is that tonight he will be having sex again and giving his wife the love session of her life. He cannot wait to surprise her with his eager hard-on that will last and last and last.

That evening, the man is lying in bed waiting for his beautiful wife to walk out of the bathroom and crawl into bed beside him.

“How much longer will you be?”, he inquires in a lound voice from the bed.

“Almost done sweetie.”, his wife responds from the bathroom.

The man gazes down at his penis and counts outloud: “One, two, three”. Sure enough, his penis stiffens into a grand hard-on.

The wife then hollars from the bathroom: “Honey, what did you say ‘one, two, three,’ for?”

Q: What do you get when you cross a midget with a prostitute?

A: A little fucker about so tall.