Tom’s dream was to marry a sweet, innocent virgin. He’d been going with Jane for a few months, when he decided to test her. As they drove along in the car, he unzipped his fly, turned to her and said, “Do you want to see my wee-wee?” She yelled, “No!No! Please zip up your fly!” Instead of being annoyed, Tom was happy.

On the eve of their engagement to be married, he tried the same thing, with the same result. Finally, on their wedding night, they were alone in the hotel room when he unzipped his fly again and said to her, “Honey, now that we’re married you can now look at what I’ve got here,” and proceeded to take out his dick.

She looked at it and said, “Oh, what a sweet looking wee-wee!” Tom said, “No darling–you don’t have to call it a wee-wee anymore; you can call it a cock.”

She looked at it a while and then said, “No, Tom, what you have ‘is’ a wee-wee.” A ‘cock’ is long, thick, and black!!!

Q. What’s the definition of a lesbian?

A. A woman doing a man’s job better again!

A man was on his first business trip to Japan, and he decided to check out the local Whore House. He walked in and was assigned a young girl with a body that got him “up” immediately. As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town.

Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Japanese, “Wasukima! Wasukima!” He was sure that she was praising him for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever.

Later, he went golfing with his boss and a few clients.

As the clients were Japanese, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language. When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted “Wasukima!”.

All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, “Why are you shouting ‘wrong hole’?”

An old woman walks into a drug store and asks the young man behind the counter if they sell extra large condoms. The clerk looks at the woman quizzically, but shrugs and tells her “yes, we do.
They’re right here behind the counter.”

The old woman thanks the clerk and stands there, and stands there, and stands there.

The clerk asks the old woman, “is there something else I can help you with, Ma’am?”.

The woman smiles sweetly at the clerk and says “no, thank you, son.
I’m just waiting here to see who buys them”.

How can you compare a lite beer to making love in a canoe? It’s fucking close to water!