These future bestsellers will not only be popular to the stupid, but they will also save trees. When they come out, you can expect each of them to take up no more than half of a page.

1. Attractive leaders of the Feminist Movement
2. Clinton Policies that actually save money
3. The Logic of the Politically Correct
4. History of the Countries where Socialism worked
5. Good Points of Clinton’s Health Program
6. Nazi-Feminists that Makes Sense
7. “The Submissive Woman” by Hillary Clinton.
8. Creating New Jobs in America – by Bill Clinton
9. “Life During Wartime” by Bill Clinton.
10. Avoiding the Tax and Spend Government – by Slick Willy
11. “Why People are More Important than Animals” – Greenpeace
12. “Deep-Thinking Liberals”
13. “The Contribution of Political Correctness to Free Speech”
14. “Why Political Correctness is not Censorship”
15. “The Merits of Gun Control”
16. “Feminists Worth Marrying”
17. “How Mass Unemployment Helps the Economy” by Socialists.
18. “To Tell the Truth” – by President Bill Clinton
19. Unshakeable Principles I Live By – by Bill Clinton
20. The Golden Voice of Roger Clinton
21. Roger Clinton: My Career Without My Brother Bill

The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

If cats and dogs didn’t have fur would we still pet them?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How can there be self-help “groups”?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?