• I won’t stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.
• You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
• Since distance equals velocity times time, let’s let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you. Read More…

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.
Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. Read More…

On the train to a math and engineering convention, a group of math majors and a group of engineering majors sat in the same car. Each of the math majors had his/her train ticket, but it became clear that the group of engineers had only ONE ticket amongst them. The math majors started laughing and snickering.

When one of the engineers said “Here comes the conductor”, all of the engineers went into the bathroom. The math majors were puzzled. The conductor came aboard, said “tickets please” and collected tickets from all the math majors. He then went to the bathroom, knocked on the door and said “ticket please” and the engineers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and left, and the engineers came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. The math majors felt really stupid.

So, on the way back from the convention, the group of math majors had one ticket for the group. They started snickering at the engineers, for this time the whole group had NO tickets amongst them.
When the engineer lookout said “Conductor coming!”, all the engineers went to one bathroom. All the math majors went to another bathroom. Just before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said “ticket please.”

· MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – Back to the drawing board.
· DEVELOPED AFTER YEARS OF INTENSIVE RESEARCH – It was discovered by accident.
· PROJECT SLIGHTLY BEHIND ORIGINAL SCHEDULE DUE TO UNFORSEEN DIFFICULTIES – We are working on something else. Read More…

There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the first time. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. He was being waited on hand an foot. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly.
The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. Read More…