Q: How do you get a Swede to sound like a dog?
A: Pour gasoline over the Swede, light a match to it and “woof” up it goes in flames.
Q: What’s the difference between a dead Swede in the road and a dead snake in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the snake.
Q: Why did the Swede put condoms on his ears?
A: He wanted to avoid getting hearing aids.
Q: Why did the Swedish woman return the vibrator she bought?
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1 Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what hed like to eat. “Ill have some fuckin French toast,” he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. “Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin French toast for me,” he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. “I dont know,” he says meekly, “but I definitely dont want the fuckin French toast.” Read More…

There was a sandwich machine in a Swedish factory. Sven didn’t quite understand what the machine was about though. He went to the machine and paid his ten kroners and got one sandwich. He was so excited, and paid another ten to the machine and received another sandwich. Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches.
Another worker was wondering what Sven was doing:
- “Sven, don’t you think you should stop now?”
- “What the hell are you babbling about?! I am just starting to win big!”

• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
• Incestuous marriages are legal.
• It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy. Read More…