Finland also known as The Republic of pigs who stab with knives, the testes of Europe, better known as the home of Linus Torvalds,is a rather large country in the North of Europe. Finland is also known as ‘ the land of the thousand ex-beauty queens and ex-athletes in the government ‘. All European countries have adopted their culture from Finland, for example its language which everyone speaks. Prehistoric Finnish food is widely acclaimed and its chefs renowned for their ability to take all kinds of apparently edible substances and make them look like excrement. For example, the Easter food Mämmi resembles diarrhea and a couple of big but nasty tits, Salmiakki looks like goat pellets and “mustamakkara” looks like a big turd. Not to mention maksalaatikko. Nowadays, however, the true traditional foods of Finland are kebab and pizza. Thanks to these inventions Finland has become another nation of fat bastards.
Because Finland is colder than the polar bear’s funhole, the Finns decided to make the sauna, their sole contribution to human life as of today (except of course, nordic walking and the totally useless Nokia). Some like to say that the Sauna really comes from the Russians, but don’t be silly: everyone knows the only thing the Russians ever came up with is the AK-47. Bob Dole. Since Finland is uninhabitable during the winter and inhospitable during the summer, the Finns had to come up with a property of character, sisu, meaning an advanced form of self-deceit.
A popular Finnish proverb is : Suomifinlandperkele vittu ruotsalaiset saatana!!!!!!
Must be told with sound effects.
A Norwegian, a Dane and a Swede got lost in the woods up in northern Sweden and eventually ended up crossing the border into northern Finland. After a while, as the situation was getting desperate, they ended up parting and going in different directions.
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1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.
2. It’s acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
3. Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
4. You think it’s normal that 22 year olds need fake ID
5. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he is American
d. he is all of the above
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The Soviet-Finnish Winter War
