Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter’s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: What does Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims and The Clintons’ hair styles have in common?
A: They both look like the work of a butcher.

Q: If The Clinton’s were younger, do you think they would have known the Clampents?
A: Possibly, Bill might have made Jethro’s acquaintance in the 6th grade.

Q: Why doesn’t Hillary cut Bill’s hair?
A: He won’t pay her $300.

Q: What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton?
A: His face.

Q: What is the Arkansas state flower?
A: Gennifer.

Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
A: Put Janet Reno in charge.

Q: What’s the difference between a Bill Clinton and a carp?
A: One’s a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other’s a fish.

Q: What’s the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull?
A: The pit bull doesn’t carry a briefcase.

Q: How does Bill Clinton say “I’m about to hurt you”?
A: “Trust me.”

Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says “Hello”. The voice at the end of the phone says “Hello Mr. Hussein, it’s Paddy here. I’m just ringing to let you know that we’ve declared war on your country.” SH smiles to himself, “Come on Paddy”, he says, “there’s no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn’t stand a chance.” Paddy replies, “No, no, we’ve had ourselves a meeting, and we’ve decided to declare war on you.”

So SH says, “OK Paddy, now listen, I’ve got an air force of over a thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that? It’d be over in no time.” So Paddy says, “Well my lad’s got himself a hot-air balloon, and my brother used to work at an airport.” Hussein laughs, “Oh come on, you’ve not got a hope”. “Hold on a sec, Mr. Hussein, “, Paddy says, “we’ll just have a quick meeting.” So off he goes and has a quick meeting. “Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we’ve had our meeting, and we’ve decided that we’re still going to declare war.”

So SH says, “Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we’ve also got about a thousand tanks. How are you going to match that.” “Well,” Paddy says, “I’ve got an old austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor.” “Get real, ” says SH, “that’s no match at all.” So

Paddy says, “Hold on, I’ll just go and have another meeting.” “Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we’ve had our meeting, and we’ve decided that we’re still going to declare war.”

SH thinks this is just amazing, “Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?”. “Well,” says Paddy, “there’s me, my kid, me 4 cousins, and they all had sons, and there’s Bill down the road…. I reckon I could get together about 30.” Laughing openly now SH replies, “Come on Paddy, I’ve got 10,000 highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you’d better go and have another meeting.” “I will”, says Paddy, “I will.”

“Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we’ve had our meeting, and we’ve decided that we’re not going to declare war on you after all.” “At last, ” replies SH, “What made you change your mind?” “Well, it’s those 10 thousand soldiers you see. We can’t declare war on you because we’ve got no facilities to keep all those prisoners!”

Britney spears was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, Britney shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes!” The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, Britney turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots Britney spears standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then Britney spears flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Pamela Anderson buys a box of laundry detergent, and it says on the box, “20 uses”. A day later, she calls the laundry detergent company and says” I bought your product and the box says ’20 uses’, but all it does is my laundry!

As she lay back her muscles tightened. She put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refused to be swayed as he approached her. He asked if she was afraid and she shook her head bravely. He has had more experience,
but it’s the first time his fingers have found the right place.

He probed deeply and she shivered; her body tensed; but he was gentle like he promised he’d be.

He looked deeply within her eyes and told her to trust him-he’s done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxed her and she opened wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. She began to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly took his time, wanting to cause her as little pain as possible. As he pressed
closer, going deeper, she felt the tissue give way; pain surging throughout her body and she felt the slight trickle of blood as he continued. He looked at her concerned and asked if it’s too painful. Her eyes were filled with tears but she shook her head and nodded for him to go on. He began going in and out with skill but she was too numb to feel him within her.

After a few moments, she felt something bursting within her and he pulled it out of her, she lay panting, glad to have it over. He looked at her and smiling warmly, told her, with a chuckle; that she had been his most stubborn
yet most rewarding experience.

She smiled and thanked the dentist. After all, it was Jessica Alba’s first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty!

Excuse me, What were you thinkin’?