Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.

Bill looks at Al, and chuckles and says, “You know I could throw a $10,000 dollar bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.” Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy.” Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one hundred $100 bills out the window and make one hundred pepole very happy.”

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, “I could throw all of you out the window and make the WHOLE COUNTRY HAPPY!”

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy: “I’ve got another dress for you to clean.”

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, “Come again?”

“No,” says Monica. “Mustard!”

Winston Peters is visiting a school.

In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy”. One little boy stands up and offersthat, “if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy”.

“No,” Winston says, “That would be an ACCIDENT.”

A girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved… that would be a tragedy”. “I’m afraid not, “explains Winston, “that is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”

The room is silent, none of the other children volunteer. “What?” asks Winston, “isn’t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Winston Peters was blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy”.

“Wonderful!” Winston beams. “Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?” “Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss!”

Al Gore was entertaining Joe Leiberman and decided to show off his new home. Upon entering the bedroom, Joe noticed a very large wooden box with 5 empty beer cans and about $1500.00 in cash.

Out of curiosity, Joe asked “AL, I see you’re a beer drinker, I am too! you see, we DO have something in common”

With a condescending voice, Al quipped, ” yes, of course we do Joe”

Joe then asked ” Al, why the 5 empty cans and all that cash”

Al gladly told Joe about his new program. ” Joe, since last month, I have decided to turn a new leaf and become a more accountable person, while at the same time rewarding myself for my efforts. Whenever I tell a lie, I drink a beer and put the can in this box”

“That’s really impressive”, Joe replied, “only 5 beer cans in a whole month, but tell me, where did all that cash come from”?

Without missing a beat, Al responded, “Whenever the box gets full of beer cans, I take it down to the recycling center, you know how concerned I am about environmental issues”.

Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Madonna does not have one. And a priest does not use his. What is it?

A last name.