A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. George Bush was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service workers. Dubya asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box.

The little boy said, “Republicans.”

The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, “Thatta boy!”

A few weeks later Bush was jogging again, this time with Dick Cheney in tow. Bush stopped at the boy’s house, winked at Dick and said, “Hey kid, what kind of pupies are in the box?”

The boy said, “Democracts”

Bush looked crushed, saying, “What happened? A few weeks ago they were Republicans!”

The boy said, “Well, the puppies opened their eyes.”

There’s a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans.

Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy–Johnny.

The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, “I’m not a Bush fan.”

The teacher says, “Why aren’t you a Bush fan?”

Johnny says, “I’m a John F. Kerry fan.” The teacher asks why he’s a Kerry fan. The boy says, “Well, my mom’s a Kerry fan, and my Dad’s a Kerry fan, so I’m a Kerry fan!”

The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, “What if you’re Mom was a moron, and you’re dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”

Johnny says, “That would make me a Bush fan.”

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, “Now, there’s the biggest horse’s ass I’ve ever seen.”

A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to

him, and decked him.

A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Mrs. Bush

appeared on the television. “She’s a horse’s ass too,” the man.

This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up,

walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool.

“Damn it!” the man said, climbing back up to the bar. “This must be

Bush country!”

“Nope,” the bartender replied. “Horse country!”

Some say George W. Bush quit drinking because of this incident…

Back in his party days, Dubya got behind the wheel after a few too many. He started the car and stepped on the gas. He was driving for a while, when suddenly a white ghost face appeared in the window. George saw it and began screaming.

He stepped on the gas harder, but the face floated right in the window. George floored it – the speedometer read 110mph but the face did not disappear. A white hands gestured for him to roll down the window. Not knowing what else to do, he rolled it down slowly.

The wrinkled old face smiled and said, “Do you want help getting out of the mud?”

George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson on politics. First he asked the kid to write “The President” on the blackboard.

Then Bush asked the child what he thought the President should accomplish and the child replied, “Protect the environment and clean up the air.”

Dubya countered, “Why should the clouds be white and the water be blue when they could be all kinds of cool colors? Is that so terrible. Can’t we agree on it? Can you spell “Is” and “We”?

The boy spells out “Is” then “We” on the blackboard.

“My friends at the oil companies can make chemicals to make trees tall. If fact, they already did. Can you write, “tall” and “did”?

The boy writes the words on the blackboard.

“Now young man, what have you learned from your talk with the President?”

The boys stands up and reads what he has written on the blackboard aloud: “The President is we tall did.”