A very funny speech, by Barack Obama.
He is a funny guy, would have made millions in show business.

The Queen and Princess Di are out for a Sunday drive. They are pulled over by bandits who demand their jewelry. When they see they aren’t wearing any, the bandits just take their Bentley and drive off.

As the Queen and Di are walking back to Buckingham Palace, the Queen says, “Diana, dear thing, I know when we left the Palace this morning you were wearing your wedding ring. Where is it?”

Diana replied, “Mum, when I saw those terrible men coming, I hid it in my privates. By the way, I could have sworn that you were wearing your tiara when we left this morning.”

The Queen says, “Yes, I was. But when I saw those bad men, I did the same thing you did with your ring.”

After they walk in silence for about a mile, the Queen starts laughing.

Diana is surprised. “Mum, this is a terrible situation, how can you be laughing?”

“Well,” says her Majesty, stifling a giggle, “I was just thinking. If Princess Margaret had been with us, we could have saved the Bentley.”

1) Three women – a German, a Jew and a polack – all gave birth to seven pound baby boys at the same time. The nurses got the babies mixed up somehow and couldn’t tell which baby belonged to which mother.
After an hour of mass confusion the father of the German baby decided he would settle the problem. He walked into the nursery and lined up the three infants in a row. He then clicked his heels, raised his arm in a salute and shouted, “Heil Hitler!” Read More…

There was a boy who had to use an outhouse and he hated it sooo bad. One day it started to rain really hard and it got the bank all slippery and wet so he decided to push it off. He did it and later that night his father asked him if he pushed off the outhouse.

Son: “Yes.”
Read More…

# Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.
George Washington Read More…