Celebrities make us feel good, most of the time. Actors, politicians (ok, not all of them), business men, musicians, football players, you name it …
In this category, the joke is on them. Enjoy
Q. Why were Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie fired from their Simple Life job at a banana company?
A. They threw out all of the bent ones.
1. Excuse me, but where is the Starbucks?
2. Is this pork chop and mashed potato stew diet?
3. Could you put those handcuffs on me again? It makes me feel like Im in my own bed.
4. Wow. This is so like totally not like Daddys hotel. Big frown!
5. Cant I have my dog here with me? He was driving drunk too!
6. Do you have anything else I can wear? This uniform makes me look so non-anorexic.
7. Wait! When I checked no about the conjugal visits, it was because I like TOTALLY thought it meant I had to meet with a grammar tutor.
8. Hey, why is there a bed in this disgusting little bathroom? And where is the rest of my cell?
9. Youll silence Sarah Silverman for how much again?
10. Yes, can you tell me where I book a pedicure and a Brazilian? And would you mind if I brought in my people for it? No offense, but I would never want a stranger to see me down there!
11. Wow, so youre like a criminal? Youre like the third one I met today!
12. Dear Mr. Diary. Im going to write three letters to the judge and see if that helps: WTF?
Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.
Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. Read More…
14. “Well, it depends on your definition of ‘father’, Luke.”
13. “Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?”
12. “I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military… Okay, now I don’t.”
Read More…
