She says = English
1.  We need = I want
2.  It’s your decision = The correct decision should be
obvious by now
3.  Do what you want =  You’ll pay for this later
4.  We need to talk = I need to complain
5.  Sure…go ahead =  I don’t want you to.
6.  I’m not upset =  Of course I’m upset, you moron.
7.  You’re…so manly =  You need a shave and you sweat
a lot.
8.  You’re certainly attentive tonight. =  Is sex all you ever think about?
9.  I’m not emotional! And I’m not
overreacting! =  I have PMS!
10. Be romantic, turn out the lights. =  I have flabby thighs.
11. This kitchen is so inconvenient. =  I want a new house.
12. I want new curtains =  and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper…
13. Hang the picture there =  No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise =  I noticed you were almost asleep.
14. Do you love me? =  I’m going to ask for something
expensive.
15. How much do you love me? =  I did something today you’re
really not going to like…
16. I’ll be ready in a minute. =  Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on T.V.
17. Is my butt fat? =  Tell me I’m beautiful.
18. You have to learn to communicate. =  Just agree with me.
19. Are you listening to me!? =  [Too late, your dead.]
20. Yes =  No
21. No =  No
22. Maybe =  No
23. I’m sorry. =  You’ll be sorry.
24. Do you like this recipe? =  It’s easy to fix, so you’d
better get get used to it.
25. I’m not yelling! =  Yes I am yelling because I
think this is important.

In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”

26. The same old thing. =  Nothing.
27. Nothing. =  Everything.
28. Everything. =  My PMS is acting up.
29. Nothing, really. =  It’s just that you’re such a jerk.
30. I don’t want to talk about it. =  Go away, I’m still building up
evidence against you.