Actual UNIX commands and responses…

% make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.

% got a light?
No match.

% sleep with me
bad character

% man: Why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% rm God
rm: God nonexistent

% make ‘heads or tails of all this’
Make: Don’t know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.

% make sense
Make: Don’t know how to make sense. Stop.

% make mistake
Make: Don’t know how to make mistake. Stop.

% make bottle.open
Make: Don’t know how to make bottle.open. Stop.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% make light
Make: Don’t know how to make light. Stop.

% date me
You are not superuser: date not set

% man rear
No manual entry for rear.

% [Where is Chandra Levy?
Missing ]

% “How does Gary Condit rate as a liar?
Unmatched ”

% If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?
Too many )’s.

% * How would you describe Bill Clinton
*: Ambiguous.

% %Vice-President
%Vice-President: No such job.

% “How would you rate Reagan’s senility?
Unmatched “.