Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant?
A: Wipe it off!

Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants?
A: None of the offspring survived.

Q: How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she’s lying down in tall grass?
A: VERY attractive.

Q: How do you know when an elephant has been screwing in you’re yard?
A: The flower beds are crushed and you are missing a garbage bag!

Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?
A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).

Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road?
A: He stamped it to death and then said “Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!”.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
A: Cosine (Theta) Note: Assumes |elephant| |grape| 1

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber?
A: Zero – a mountain climber is a scaler.

Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.

Q: What’s grey and comes in quarts?
A: An elephant.

Q: What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
A: Swim for your life!!

Q: Why do elephants lay on their backs?
A: To trip low flying canaries.

Q: Why did the elephant have a yellow spot on his ass?
A: He wasn’t laying on his back.

Q: Why do elephants have Big Ears?
A: Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom. (Noddy is children’s storybook character)

Q: Why don’t you go into the jungle between 3 and 4 am?
A: Because the elephants are jumping from the trees.

Q: Why are pygmies so short?
A: Because the go into the jungle between 3 and 4 am.

Q: Whats that red stuff between elephants toes?
A: Slow pygmies.