- “Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.”
- “On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.”
- “The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.”
- “Discharge status: Alive but without permission.”
- “Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.”
- “The patient refused an autopsy.”
- “The patient has no past history of suicides.”
- “Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.”
- “Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.”
- “Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.”
- “She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.”
- “She is numb from her toes down.”
- “While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.”
- “The skin was moist and dry.”
- “Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.”
- “Patient was alert and unresponsive.”
- “She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.”
- “I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.”
- “The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.”
- “Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.”
- “Skin: Somewhat pale but present.”
- “Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.”
- “By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better.”
- “The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.”
- “When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.”
- “Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.”
- “The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.”
- “The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.”
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Posted in: Doctors Jokes
March 8th, 2010 at 4:21 pm #Bottomless
yo soy deprimida …
Gracias
Bottomless