DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish…………………………….49.
Adventurous………………….Slept with everyone.
Athletic…………………………..No breasts.
Average looking……………..Moooo.
Beautiful………………………..Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure……….On medication.
Feminist…………………………Fat.
Free Spirit……………………..Junkie.
Friendship first………………Former Slut.
New-Age………………………..Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned…………………No B.J.’s
Open-minded………………….Desperate.
Outgoing…………………………Loud and embarrassing.
Professional……………………Bitch.
Voluptuous……………………..Very fat.
Large frame……………………Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate……………..Stalker.