There was a married couple having communication problems, so they decide to see a shrink. He recommends the husband get an animal he can talk to, preferably something that can talk back.

So the husband (Bob) goes to the local pet store to purchase a parrot. What better animal to have a conversation with than a parrot?

Anyway, he asks the sales clerk for a parrot. The Clerk says he has one that can say about 2000 words, for $1000. Bob doesn’t want to spend that much, so the clerk says he has a parrot that says about 1000 words, for $500. Still a litttle expensive, Bob decides. OK, the clerk says, We aren’t supposed to sell him, but you really seem to want a parrot. We have one in the back that can speak about 5000 words, about as well as any person. The only thing is that it was born with a birth defect. Instead of legs, it has a six-inch penis it uses to grapple to perch. Five bucks. Bob buys it, names it Joe, and takes joe home.

After a few months, bob and joe are the best of friends. One day, Bob comes home from work, and Joe says “Bob, we need to talk.”

So Bob sits down, “yeah what’s up?”

Joe says “today you’re wife invited the mailman in.”

“So? He was probably tired form working.”

“She asked him if he wanted a drink.”

“Well, he was probably thirsty. He has been working all day, you know.”

“She started taking off her blouse,” Joe said.

“OH MY GOD!! What happened then?”

“I Don’t know,” Said Joe. “I got a hard-on and fell off the perch.”