Q: Why is Chelsea growing up a confused child?
A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.

Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade?
A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president’s spouse, Bill Clinton.

Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America?
A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.

Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?
A: He’s the stiff one.

Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gore’s life?
A: Grade six.

Q: If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get?
A: Coffee.

Q: What will Bill’s favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?
A: Everything’s $100.

Q: What was the real purpose of Bill’s college visit to Moscow?
A: To study economics.

Q: What is Clinton’s plan to create thousands of small businesses?
A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea’s new private school?
A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.

Q: What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.

Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?
A: To promote off-shore drilling.

Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin?
A: So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.