Real programmers don’t grumble about the disadvantages of Fortran when they don’t know any other language.

Real programmers don’t notch their desks for each completed service request.

Real programmers don’t number paragraph names consecutively.

Real programmers print only clean compiles.

Real programmers write readable code, which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.

Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.

Remember the tea kettle; though up to its neck in hot water, it continues to sing.

Repetition does not establish validity.

Roses are red violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic and so am I.

Rule of defactualization: information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.