Goebel’s Second Law Of Useless Difficulty: The fastest way to get something done is to determine that it isn’t worth doing.

Goebel’s Law Of Computer Support: Troubleshooting a computer over the telephone is like having sex through a hole in a board fence. It can be done, but it is neither easy nor pleasant.

Goebel’s Law Of Software Compatibility: A statement of absolute functional equivalence made in bold print followed by several pages of qualifications in fine.

Goebel’s Theorem Of Software Schedules: Always multiply a software schedule by pi. This is because you think you’re going in a straight line but always end up going full circle.

Goebel’s Law Of Product Introductions: A future product release date does not say when a product will be introduced. All it says it that you don’t have a chance of seeing it before that time.

Goebel’s Observation On Utopia: If everyone believed in Peace, they would immediately begin fighting over the best way to achieve it.

Goebel’s Law Of Intellectual Obscurity: What fun is it to be an expert if you make yourself easy to understand?