- War sucks.
- You CAN have too many women.
- Smart people wear glasses.
- Music foreshadows plot.
- The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you’ll get.
- (Inversely, the harder you try, the less you’ll get.)
- When you die, make a long speech, and don’t finish the last sentence.
- Snow means love.
- The best teams come in fives.
- In space, you can hear everything.
- There’s always room for flashbacks!
- When in China, listen to your tour guide.
- The good guy always has the BLUE glow.
- Speak quietly, pilot a big mech.
- Believe in goddesses.
- Teachers have excellent aim with small objects.
- Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all.
- Honor is sexy; villainy is irresistible.
- Women are attracted to losers; men are attracted to ANYTHING.
- The coolest weapon is still the sword.
- The hero is never really mad until they hurt his girlfriend.
- Female androids are sexy; male androids are….male androids.
- The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves.
- School uniforms are cool only when the collar is open.
- A show without sexual tension isn’t worth watching.
- Love knows no race, species, or logic.
- If it’s homemade but tastes bad, grin and bury it (discreetly).
- Never trust a huge corporation.
- Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle.
- Never fall for the girl who names her mech with a French name.
- Never fall in love with a psychic.
- You can never have too much hair.
- Sweating is a sure sign of stress.
- Daydreaming leads to accidents.
- Everyone wants to conquer Japan.
- The cute, fuzzy creature isn’t what it seems.
- Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia.
- Always take gravity into account.
- Settings and faces are self-generating.
- Losing your temper can be therapeutic.
- There’s nothing sexier than high heels on a mech.
- You can never have too many subplots.
- If she sings, she’s doomed.
- You always remember the sad endings.
- Double suicide is romantic.
- Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler.
- Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors.
- Fancy ice cream is for girls only.
- The most virtuous character will die.
- Hot water has innumerable benefits.
- No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed.
- (The same theory above applies to vomiting.)
- The girl with the curly hair is always the seductress.
- If a sister falls in love with her brother, somewhere down the line you will discover that they’re not blood related.
- The guy in the baseball cap is always more powerful than he seems.
- All demons/monsters have enormous genitalia.
- All young children can pilot mecha, you just need to give them a few days.
- It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life.
- All high school kids in Japan have parents that are away on extended business trips.
- The oldest sister is the nice one, the youngest sister is the brash one.
- You can do anything to the human body as long as you hit the right pressure point.
- Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill effects.
- All major villains either want to take over the world or blow it up.
- When someone paints up their face, they mean business.
- Everyone in Japan has excellent singing voices.
- No matter how many times you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed in a massive fireball.
- The martial arts expert is always defenseless against a slap from the girl who loves him.
- TAKAHASHI’S LAW 1: Food is a powerful motivator.
- When women are sent out to fight the bad guys, there’s always a hunk busily watching over them, often in secret.
- The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less effective it is.
- “Baka” does not mean a student going for his baccalaureate degree.
- The more possessive a woman gets, the less likely she will end up with the man of her dreams.
- TAKAHASHI’S LAW 2: The two-foot-tall old geezer is someone to be feared.
- No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the corner, the guy chasing it loses the trail.
- Extraterrestrial, demons, time travelers, etc. all want to alter the course of history by letting Oda Nobunaga win.
- The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high school student.
- The heroine must shred her clothes while transforming into something to fight the bad guys.
- True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether realm where it awakes after a few hundred years.
- TAKAHASHI’S LAW 3: When being hit on the head, it’s the most natural thing in the world to tuck your third and fourth fingers in while keeping the others extended.
- Even the bravest souls can be made weak and helpless by the sight of a cute little puppy or kitten.
- Never love a Gundam pilot : you’re just destined for disappointment (or a funeral).
- All persons under the age of 50 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a standing position.
- Never trust a guy with shiny teeth
- ESP causes more trouble than it solves
- The vampire isn’t _always_ the bad guy
- Nice things can come out of video stores that appear from nowhere
- Idiot captains win battles against impossible odds
- Order takeout at every opportunity–you might get lucky with a wrong number.
- The police are never anywhere there is a large amount of property damage.
- All high school principals in Japan are clinically insane.
- All people with esper powers give off multicolored auras.
- Just about any outer space villain has his sights set on destroying the Earth.
- (in conjunction with #92) No other planet in the universe will be able to stop said villain except the Earth.
- Any character can make a leap of 300 ft or more if given a good running start.
- A samurai sword can cut through anything.
- All characters over the age of 60 shrink in height in direct proportion to their age.
- When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough to completely destroy any surrounding structures.
- TAKAHASHI’S LAW #4: An anti-climax is a good climax.
- Anime villians have the best deaths.
- Any love interest will always be possesed by a demon.
- Mallets can be stored anywhere on anybody.
- If the anime has the word “idol” in the title, then you know that it has to be good.
- Takada Yumi really does sing that bad, and people still buy her CDs.
- If you make enough porno movies, eventually you can get famous enough to star in commercials. “Iijima Ai desu! ‘Manga manga no mori mori!!’”
- There is no such thing as a public anime showing without heckling.
- You can spot how popular a show is by looking at the number of H doujinshi it has.
- The smartest people on r.a.a. never post, which is why the conference’s overall IQ is so low.
- If the lyrics to the OP song are printed on the screen, then you’re watching a show that’s not for your age group.
- The sexiest girls are drawn by artists whose last names start with “U”.
- The English words in Jpop songs are put there only because they sound good, since they don’t make any sense with the rest of the lyrics.
- If you post on the MLs more than Hitoshi does, then you probably post too much.
- The hero always loses the first fight with a new enemy.
- The guys with two earrings are from the Negaverse.
- Don’t trust the guys with two earrings.
- Any truly evil person who changes sides for the woman he loves will die in that episode.
- You CAN do it, but only when it’s funny or REALLY important.
- You can never have too many carrots.
- Hair comes in every shade of the rainbow – and we do mean pink, purple, blue, green….
- The song “Cry Me a River” takes on a whole new meaning.
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