Doctor Seuss’s take on the 2004 election:

Can we count them with our nose? Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band? Should we count them all by hand?

If I do not like the count, I will simply throw them out. I will not let this vote count stand. I do not like them, AL GORE I am!

Can we change these numbers here? Can we change them, calm my fears? What do you mean, Dubya has won? This is not fair, this is not fun.

Let’s count them upside down this time. Let’s count until the state is mine. I will not let this vote count stand. I do not like it, AL GORE I am!

I’m really ticked, I’m in a snit. You have not heard the last of it. I’ll count the ballots one by one. And hold each one up to the sun.

I’ll count, recount, and count some more. You’ll grow to hate this little chore. But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand. I do not like it, Al Gore I am!

I won’t leave office, I’m stayin’ here. I’ve glued my desk chair to my rear. Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba, too, all telling me that I should sue.

We find the Electoral College vile. Re-count the votes until I smile. We do not want this vote to stand. We do not like it, AL GORE I am!