The Top 10 Things You Should Not Say To A Security Guard When Caught Stealing Coins From A Mall Fountain

“Isn’t there a robbery at the Orange Julius you should be investigating?”

I’m searching for a hard to find 1998 nickel.”

“DUH!! The Gap is having a sale!”

“Did you know that it now costs 35 cents to make a phone call?”

“Thanks idiot…I had just made a wish that I could clean the fountain out and not get caught! Way to ruin that wish!!”

“Have you seen that really cool gumball machine in the food court? It rolls down a spiral ramp!”

“I’m at the last level of Mortal Kombat IV and I need another quarter.”

“I’m trying to match the exact amount of your worthless paycheck you Barney Fife wannabe!”

“See..I need a quarter to make a phone call to my Kleptomaniacs Anonymous sponsor and that’s why I’m stealing the quarters in the fountain. I NEED HELP MAN!!!”

“Ummmm…I’m looking for beer money?”