Contrary to what the lousy song says, Country Roads do NOT always take you home.

You dream of a life that will involve a paved road.

You grow tired of tourists stopping by, asking for directions to the state of “South Virginia”, and driving off in a fit of laughter.

You’re stuck with AM Radio…AM COUNTRY radio.

You’ve grown tired of seeing the group “Glass Tiger” at the local Acorn Festival each year.

The sheep won’t take your “abuse” anymore and they are planning a revolt.

Hayrides are still limited to just 10 mph.

The local theatre’s performance of “Les Miserables” left something, no A LOT, to be desired.

You’ve had it with those pesky revenuers destroying your stills of “shine”.

No matter how hard you try, your cows don’t appear receptive to chasing or catching that Frisbee.